Paddy Irishman dies and goes to hell…

by admin on May 18, 2014

It's dark and cold, and Paddy is lying on the stone floor of a huge cavern, quietly weeping to himself, terrified in anticipation of what is in store for him. The slim figure of the devil appears out from the mist, whistling and spinning a cane. As he nears, a broad grin breaks out on his face and he says in a broad Dublin accent, "Ah Paddy, how's it going?!" Paddy, terrified, timidly replies,

"Please, please, just tell me what you are going to do me, don't make it any worse than it already is"

The devil laughs and says,

"Sure never worry, hell isn't as bad as it's made out to be, come, take a walk with me".

Paddy follows meekly behind, still crying quietly to himself. After a short while, the Devil says, "Paddy, d'you like football?"

Paddy replies, "Yeah, sure"

"Well sure that's great! On Mondays all we do it sit around and watch football all day long! You'll love it down here!"

Paddy starts to relax a bit, and they continue on. After another short pause, the Devil says, "Paddy, are ye a drinking man?"

"Aye, I take a wee drink from time to time."

"Well that's great news! Sure on Tuesdays all we do is sit around and get wankered! Beer, whiskey, whatever you want! You'll fecking love it!"

By now Paddy's tears are dry and his face is relaxed enough to allow itself a small grin. They continue on, and the Devil asks, "Paddy, are ye a gay man?"

Paddy replies, "No, no, actually I'm not"

"Ah well, jaysus, you're not going to like Wednesdays then"

submitted by culberto
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