Old enough to serve, not old enough to be served: the Army and Alcohol

by admin on May 14, 2014

There was a thread a while back where a pun thread took off; it was about the moral hypocrisy of being allowed to put your life at risk fighting in war, while simultaneously not being allowed to drink alcohol.

While I detest most pun threads, this one seemed entertaining to me for some reason, despite the fact that almost all of the puns were of the exact same format.

Anyway, I compiled all the puns from that thread, made a few alterations to improve the rhythm/meter, and also added a few of my own jokes. Enjoy.

When you're 18 – 20 in the United States of America, you're:

  • old enough to get shot, not old enough to have a shot

  • old enough for the draft, not old enough for what's on draft

  • too old to whine, not old enough for wine

  • old enough to shoot a shotgun, not old enough to shotgun

  • old enough to lose your life at the war, not old enough to booze your life at the bar

  • old enough for a purple heart, not old enough for a pabst blue ribbon

  • old enough to waste someone, not old enough to get wasted

  • old enough to face some shit, not old enough to get shitfaced

  • old enough to deploy bombs, not old enough to jager bomb

  • old enough to drive a tank, not old enough to get tanked

  • old enough for PTSD, not old enough for Long Island Iced Tea

  • old enough for a round of bullets, not old enough for a round of shots

  • old enough for murder, not old enough for red rum

  • old enough to kill a cadet, not old enough for tequila just yet

  • old enough to kill a vet, not old enough for tequila yet

  • old enough to screw, not old enough to brew

  • old enough for drills and kills, not yet permitted to distill

  • to cast his life, they will allow, yet still he can't drink whiskey now

  • old enough to see death and all, but still too young to drink ethanol

submitted by through_a_ways
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