It's 500 BC in the north of the Korean peninsula, what is today the home of the beautiful and harmonious Democratic People's Republic of Korea, led by great leader Kim Jong Un, who succeeded Kim Jong Il, who succeeded the Eternal President whose statue of reverence is un-outrevered, Kim Il Sung. The emperor, Akhum Ersé, has run into a problem.
A problem–one that would never occur in the current efficient leadership of the great Kim Jong Un due to his unparalleled guidance in generating happy and satisfactory employment to the citizens of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea–that involved some very unsatisfied lumberjacks.
The lumberjacks would get pay on a log-by-log basis, thus paving the way for the concept of Employee Stock Ownership Plans for the current administration of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, where all employees are paid for the work they do fairly.
However, they were not satisfied with their pay, where they got 15 rekhtas on the brumhi. They wanted an increased pay of 25%, something that the king was unwilling to give due to the dent it would put in the king's personal finances, which our dear leader Kim Jong Un would never do, as he respects the work of the laborers of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, and is a humble servant to the nation.
However, Ersé came up with an innovative solution to the problem, as the resultant lack of firewood for the masses would mean that dry foods would be more popular, something that would be unfavorable to him; he held a huge stake in cooked food raw producers' income.
An atheist and rationalist, Ersé understood completely the power of religion over the people, something our dear leader Kim Jong Un would never use to deceive the people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, as he cares about our spiritual wellbeing. Ersé created a religion with some 60-something year old soldiers whom he gave the most expensive of silk robes.
The beards of the men displayed a kind of mystique to the people, and the words they spoke enchanted the masses, which led to several men who gladly put themselves under the tutelage of the "monks". As initiation and daily ritual, the men were given a saw and made to chop trees the whole day. If their faiths were true, they would go to the area the next day and the trees would no longer be there! Many joined the faith, believing with all their hearts the tenets of the religion that suspiciously lined up with Ersé's interests, even as naysayers were systematically abducted and "reeducated".
Ersé died of a heart attack sparked by an oily treat. The treat was banned in the whole kingdom by his throne-inheriting son Krasy. Due to the indoctrinating that was still prevalent in the kingdom, Ersé's death was widely mourned, and he was celebrated as a Godly ruler.
Every year since then to the death of the religion, the men who served assembled in 6 to 10 acres of forest and sang and danced and chopped trees on Ersé's birthday. It was a saw sage fest.
submitted by shadowbannedguy1
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