A elderly gay couple find a genie

by admin on March 31, 2014

Neil and Bob, a gay couple in their 60s are out antiquing one day when they come across an old Alladin-style lamp. Neither man can resist the kitschy style that the lamp could bring to their foyer, so they haggle the shop keeper down to a reasonable price and take it home.

At home, Neil is polishing the lamp, trying to bring it back to its original luster and shine when blue genie pops out.

"I am the genie of the lamp! You have freed me from my prison and have earned 3 wishes. I will grant one each day, but you must keep your wishes a secret until they've all comes true the morning after the third wish. What is your first wish?"

Neil leans forward to whisper his first wish into the genie's ear. That night, he manages to keep the secret of the genie from Bob, but only just. Upon waking the next morning, Neil and Bob are as young and fit as they had been in their 20s with full heads of hair, just the right amount of muscle tone and bronze tans. Bob is speechless and rather annoyed that Neil won't reveal the secret to their new youthful looks. Neil assures Bob that all would be revealed in two days.

With Bob at work, Neil sneaks into the garage, rubs the lamp and whispers his second wish into the genie's ear. After another night of pestering from Bob, he and Neil manage to go to bed without the deal being broken.

The couple awake the next morning when the phone rings. Still looking youthful as ever, Bob answers the phone and nearly faints as he's told about a long-lost uncle having died heirless and leaving him his oil fortune worth no less than two billion dollars. The man is rich and will never have to work another day of his life.

Dodging even more questions, Neil manages to get Bob out the door and down to the bank to fill out forms and start investing his new wealth. While he's gone, Neil goes into the garage to make his final wish.

That night, neither man are able to sleep much, but somehow find themselves in bed when they awake to a knock on the front door. Bob gets up, figuring that it's another incredibly lucky or magical event about to be revealed. To his horror, a dozen KKK members in robes with torches, pitchforks and two lengths of rope are trying to force their way in.

Bob runs back to the bedroom and shakes Neil awake. Neil can't quite understand the terror in his partner's face.

"You bastard! What's going on? The youth, the wealth, the men outside- tell me NOW or I'm leaving you!"

"Well," Neil explains, "Now that all the wishes have come true, I can tell you that I found a genie in that old lamp that we bought over the weekend. I wished for us to have youth, wealth and, well, the third should be obvious."

"What's so obvious about a gang of Klansmen trying to lynch us?!" Bob demands.

"Oh shit!" Neil exclaims, "This is definitely NOT what i meant when I asked for the two of us to be hung like black guys!"

submitted by noccusJohnstein
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