Some historic anti-Nazi jokes from Germany

by admin on December 31, 2014

Hey there. I thought, I'll take the time and translate you some of the so-called "Flüsterwitze"(whisper jokes) from nazi Germany.

  • The old code of law seems to complicated, so it has to be changed. From now on, there are only three laws: 1. If you do something, or fail to do something, you are punished. 2. The penalty is determined by the peoples emotion*. 3.What the peoples emotions is dictated by the Gauleiter(governor). (1934/35) (original: "gesundes Volksempfinden" translates to "healthy emotions of the populace". The nazis used this as an excuse for mob violence agains Jews in the early days)

  • The mayor of a small rural town is ordered to identify the local communists. Not knowing how to find out who they are, he calls Berlin and asks for help. The tell him: "Communists are people who don't want to work but expect to earn a lot." The mayor answers: "Well, we got two of those: the preacher and the teacher."(1933)

  • "The government just bought the Sahara?" – "Why?" – "So they can cast more sand into peoples eyes." (sand in the eyes = to pull the wool over ones eyes) (1938)

  • There can't be any elections in the forseeable future. – Why? – There was a break-in at the ministry of propaganda and the result for the next elections have been stolen from Goebbels desk.

  • The Führer always keeps his promises. He promised us work and bread – he didn't say anything about butter.

  • A man wants to buy a pig from a farmer, but he says it has to be an aryan pig. "What's that?", the farmer asks. "Well", the man answers. "It has to have bristles like Hitler, a snout like Goebbels and a belly like Göring!" (1934)

  • At a press meeting Goebbels tells an American journalist: "If Roosevelt had something like the SS, there wouldn't be any Gangsters left in the US!" The yournalist answers: "Of course not. They would all be squad leaders by now." (1934)

  • What's the difference between christianity and national socialism? – In christianity one man died for all, in national socialism all men are expected to die for one." (1944)

  • Q: What do you get for a new joke? – A: Six months in Dachau. (1938)

submitted by markuslama
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