One from the pub tonight…. And Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Paddy Irishman are on a roofing job together….

And the Englishman goes: "Fuck me, my wife keeps making me these roast chicken sandwiches for lunch. I swear lads, if I get this shite again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this fucking roof!"

The Scotsman goes: "Fouck meh, laddiehs, my foucking wife keeps mehking me thes roost beef sandwheches. If I get 'em egen, I'm jumping'off this fouking ruf!"

The Paddy Irishman goes: "Fck meh, I get this ham sanwich, like. If I get'em egen, I'll joihn in, like!"

So, the next day comes along. The same sandwiches again. They all jump to their death.

So, the funeral's on. The Englishwoman's in tears: "Why didn't I switch the sandwiches up!" The Scotswoman's in tears with the same complaint. But the Paddy Irishwoman's fuming. When everyone asks her why at the funeral, she replies:

"'cos dhat fcking dopeh coont fixed 'ees owhn sandwiches, like!"